MY MARRIAGE:-
Today I got my final result. I rushed home to share it with my parents. I flung the door open and shouted "Ma I got 68%, the treat should be biryani". But she looked embarrassed by my behavior and dragged me to the bedroom, dressed me up with a green sari and handed me a plate full of pakoras and 5 cups of tea. Before I could say anything, she escorted me to the drawing room where my baba (father) was having a discussion with 4 unknown people in a very obliged tone. Ma (mother) pushed me to offer the pakoras and tea to them. Then, they started asking me different questions about my likes and dislikes. Before I could understand anything, they congratulated us and each other and left the house.My marriage got fixed and was scheduled on 19th of November. The whole house started buzzing with people. My ears heard their hum, but couldn't understand what all the fuss was about. In all this, I remained silent. I tried to shout at a top of my voice that I don't want to marry now. I had my career to build. I had my dreams waiting for me, to get fulfilled. But I felt my voice choked. I stood in the middle and remained dumb. I could only see the glittering eyes of my parents. I dropped a tear and said "Here start my journey of sacrifices".
[In our typical Indian society, parents think that marriage of their little girl is the most important thing. It’s a responsibility, which every girl parents’ grant as a sole requirement of her. Career building is always optional, if the girls’ in-laws allow her.]
Days turned into months and I got married. My father-in-law got a transportation business and my husband Rahul, is a custom officer. They earn more than enough for the family. There was no need of any lady member of the family to go out for any job. But it was not about having a job. It was all about my career, identity and existence. I did my M.A. in geology not just to cook food. I couldn’t be like my mother-in-law, who sacrificed her teaching career as a geography teacher in KVs for the family. Days passed by and the urge to build my career made me impatient. My daily household work was monotonous to me.
[Most of the women after marriage get so busy in learning the house-hold works, adapting the family customs, updating the knowledge about their husband and in-laws choices, they keep forgetting their dreams]
It was Saturday night. My mother-in-law was teaching me how to cook chicken razzela. She was giving me tips how to manage the house. I suddenly popped the question to her, "Majhi, in all these years, you never felt to build your career?" She became stunt and after few seconds looked at me. Her eyes said everything. But that day it was like nobody can stop me to speak out my feelings. I said, "I want to build my career. I got an offer of project assistant in GSI. They will be paying me 12000/- per month. Can I do it?" She was silent. I completed marinating the chicken and kept it aside. She told me to leave it for the night. We all had our dinner. She asked me to bring the desert. I was alone in the kitchen with questions pumping into my head. Would I be allowed to pursue my career? Was she upset with me? Did every woman have to scarify their dreams after marriage? Was there no professional future for any women? I served the desert. Suddenly my father-in-law stood up and hugged me. I stood there confused. With a smiling face he said, "Beta you are like a daughter to us. You can do whatever you like. Go ahead and build your career, we all are there with you." I was overwhelmed. Tears rolled down from my ears. I didn’t know what she had said or how she did it, but I was really happy.
[An educated woman, as an in-law in a family, plays a vital role. They can understand the urge, to build a career, by the young female members of the family. It leads to women empowerment in India]
I went to sleep and waited for the morning. I prayed and thanked to god in whatever possible ways. I knew it would be hard for me to manage both my family and work, but it was not impossible. I felt blessed to have such in-laws as I know a lot of women have to sacrifice their dreams after marriage. In this male dominated world it was always tough for a married woman to go ahead with their career. Different responsibilities come upon them. It takes years to adjust and get accustomed with the in-laws. And, with these years passing by their dreams fades too. These thoughts kept buzzing in my head and I didn't know when I was asleep.
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