IN THE NAME OF CULTURE

Indian culture or the Hindu culture whatever you say, is being misused by a lot of family. People ignore the main reasons behind the rituals. The most effected one within all of them is marriage. Some use it for their benefit and some fall in the traps of them. In all this the girl’s family is affected the most. They go to an ultimate position to maintain the pride and honour of the family or to ensure a false security and respect in her in-laws. Whatever anybody calls it, but I call it hypocrisy.

I am a Bengali girl in her marriageable age. I am my parents’ only daughter. My father died 3 years ago. Since my mom was a teacher in a private school she had managed most of the things. But my marriage is a big responsibility on her shoulders that she thinks would be hard to accomplish. Since I am a working woman too, our family finances are quite stable, but that doesn't change the peer pressure over us.

A marriage comes with an enormous list of expenses, especially on the girl’s family. With the price rise on high every commodity is too expensive. Whether you are doing arrangements for catering or preparing for “havan” you have to check all the minute details. There will be a long roll of gift items for the in-laws. Bridal grooming should have a lot of gold jewelry. Does anyone know the gold price? Does any one ever think that how an average middle class family can afford all this? Can anyone tell the meaning of the “shloks” recited during the “havan” or why a “havan” is performed? What is the relation between the foods served in a marriage with girl’s family status? If dowry is illegal, then why anybody should ask for gifts?

A marriage becomes a gossip ground. Air filled with criticisms. The in-laws fighting for silly things and insult the bride’s family. There is an endless list of complains about the quality of clothes, the food, and so on. Their behaviors levy the fact that having daughter is a curse. They try to impose that any violation is an act of disbelief toward the Indian culture. All these are the work of Moral police and selfish people who in the name of culture loot people around them.

It may not end here. Excluding all the after marriage demands, the great problem knocks the door when your daughter gets pregnant. In her third trimester she is sent to her parents’ house where she is most pampered, but it got a dark side too. Some in-laws do so to avoid the expense and responsibility of the maternity homes and the afterbirth concerns. How immoral that can be.

I am against all this. Call me a feminist or what so ever, but I am just a normal girl who just wants a simple marriage. I don’t want to spend a great heap of money to impress anyone. Like me the person who I am not by how much I can spend. My morals, sacra-mentality, ethics and deeds should be the reason of choosing me. My parents also have faced the same hardship as the boy’s. There are no reasons to put my head down and do all the silly things to maintain a false dignity/status.